Christmas Pictures

Yeah...it seems I left my camera cable plugged into the computer. Foiled again by my own logic.

Below are some of the pictures from Christmas. Mom received her favorite things in all the world - stuffed animals and chocolate.

Mom's room is a Christmas extravaganza. She is watched over continually by larger than life penguins. Presents from the kids.

Oh my goodness - Ferrero Rocher!!!

Home for the Holidays

Every holiday and family event since Mom's diagnosis in March 2007 has carried with it the knowledge that it may be our last special day together. Last Christmas was no different. Yet here we are, one Christmas later, celebrating the birth of the One who defeated death for us.

I have a few pictures from Christmas but I can't find my camera cable to upload them. I'll post them later and update you now.

On Christmas Eve Mom was quieter than she had been in recent days, but was responsive both verbally and physically. On Christmas Day she was less responsive, sleeping most of the day and not very verbal. Since Christmas, she has continued to be quiet, most times looking at us when we speak but with no acknowledgment in her eyes. When I spoke to Suzy on Monday, Mom had slept all of Sunday. She was awake for part of her nurse visit Monday morning and followed Colleen with her eyes at one point. Her vitals weren't great but not horrible: oxygen 91, blood pressure 150/84, pulse 114 and mostly regular, lungs clear.

I left for Grand Rapids in a hurry Saturday evening when Paul suggested I do so to avoid the approaching blizzard. Even though Mom was very quiet, she responded consistently to my I love yous and I'll miss yous and hugs. Mom has her priorities straight.

We hope you all had a peaceful and joyous Christmas. Thanks for your continued thoughts and prayers for Mom and our family.

Recent Rose-isms

"I'm feeling a little glancy."

Mom has been in rare form since her amazing bounce-back last week. She's had a lot to say, and it's been hard keeping up. But here's a sample of her most recent Rose-isms.

(Watching Neil Sedaca with Suzy and Cameron)
The show is over.
(Not sure she's a fan)

(The kids say Grandma put a hit out on Jodi)
Mom, to Corey, arm uplifted and fingers poised to snap: “Eggfield – take care of Jodi for me.”
(The kids say Grandma then paid Corey off)
Mom gives the orange polka-dot dog to Olivia. “Give this to Eggfield.”

Jodi to Grandma:
Goodbye Grandma!
Is Billy back?
No, but I have a big test today.
Oh, he did too.

Olivia had a hard time reaching Grandma to give her a kiss. Mom waited patiently with her lips puckered until Olivia found a way to get to her.

Mom has moments of clarity when she is more self-aware. A few days ago she had one of those moments with Suzy.
What do I look like?
Compared to what?
Compared to how I used to look?
You look a lot like you used to look. You’re gorgeous.

I spoke to Mom on the phone Friday morning. She was watching a program at the time but tracked with me pretty well.
Hi Mom!
Hi honey!
How are you?
I’m fine, how are you?
I’m fine too. It’s so good to hear your voice.
It’s so good to hear your voice too.
It’s snowing a lot down here. They’re calling it “snowmaggedon.”
“Snowmaggedon…snowmaggedon…”
Isn’t that clever?
(Silence)
What are you doing today, Mom?
The same thing I was doing yesterday.
Are you working on projects?
Yes.
You’ve always got a lot of projects going, don’t you.
Yes, I was working on…
Next time I come I’m going to stay with you for five days.
Five days?
Yes.
Why, that will be wonderful!
Can I stay with you in your room?
Well, sure!
I have to get back to work now Mom. I love you.
I love you too, Patty.
Goodbye Mom.
(Silence)
(Suzy) Patty is saying goodbye.
Oh, is that what they’re saying?
Yes.
Oh, okay. (to Pat) They’re saving the body.
Goodbye Mom – I love you!
I’m not good at saying goodbye.
That’s okay. We’ll just stick to I love you.
Okay. I love you honey.
I love you too. Goodbye!
Goodbye!

Cookin' With Gas

This morning I called Suzy to see how everyone was doing. She put me on the phone with Mom.

Hi Mom!

Well, Hi honey!

How are you?

I'm fine...I wanted to ask you...I'm making some apple pan bowdy (should be "dowdy," or may be a brand new recipe), and I need some guidance, and since you're the expert...

No one ever told me I was the expert of apple brown betty (I misunderstood).

Things are changing...(Mom is watching the world financial news)

I checked the Fifth Third website today. I could refinance my house at 5% interest for thirty years. Isn't that great?

No.

It's not? I would be paying much less than my current mortgage and my home equity loan combined.

Okay.

Mom was completely engrossed in international finance.

When I spoke to Suzy Mom had not yet received her delivery of IV Cipro, but it was expected. Suzy said she was better than she was when I left her on Sunday, which wasn't bad at all.

I wonder how you make apple pan dowdy...

The Latest...

Mom had a blood draw yesterday during her home nursing visit. Her hemoglobin is 9.4, magnesium is low, and she has a UTI. She'll begin to receive cipro for the infection as soon as the pharmaceutical delivery vendor brings the IV bags.
Suzy told me today that Mom is better than when I left her on Sunday. Making conversation, saying funny things. Who would have guessed a week ago.
Just wanted to give you some good news.

Encore

The evening before Chris Darrow's funeral, Linda Darrow and I attended a concert of the Alma College Percussion Ensemble. It was incredible. They recieved two standing ovations and played encores after each. I whispered to Linda, "This could go on all night." And I wouldn't have minded one bit.

Early last week, all of Mom's symptoms indicated her time here was ending. We were all bracing ourselves for her finale. But once again, Rosie is back with another song.

Friday morning Suzy, Paul and all their kids took off for Birch Run and Frankenmuth for Christmas shopping and time away. Suzy had considered cancelling the trip after Mom's sleeping spell over last weekend. But there was no need for them to stay. Once again, Mom rallied.

(The Wise Family in the van, on their way to Birch Run)

Dr. Karkosak stopped by for a home visit early Friday evening. After all of the medication discussions and concerns shared with Suzy earlier in the week, he was very surprised to see her awake and responsive, and to hear that she'd eaten two eggs for breakfast and ice cream for lunch. He checked her vitals - blood pressure 120/60, pulse 78 and mostly regular, lungs clear, legs and ankles not bad. He said to me, "This is a miracle." He said to continue with one milligram of dexamethazone since she could still swallow (we were weaning her off of it in anticipation of her losing her ability to swallow). I think Dr. Karkosak left happier than he came.

(Mom with Dr. Karkosak 12/12/08)

After Dr. Karkosak left, Mom and I resumed decorating her room for Christmas. It's a little Vegas, but we're not ashamed to live large.
Saturday morning Bill, Pattie, Jessy and Tyler came from Traverse. Mom slept through most of the visit, but was very affectionate when they said goodbye.

The rest of the day was fairly quiet. We watched a couple of movies - nothing notable. The family returned at about 1:20 a.m. Sunday morning with amazing bargains. Suzy showed Mom a couple of the items of which she was especially proud. Mom was impressed.
This morning I read her most recent Christmas cards, from Jacque Flynn, Marlene Coglianese and Roleen Carpenter. I told her that Roleen had recently emailed her hugs and kisses, and mentioned they had always been favorite cousins, since they were the same age. Mom smiled and said, "Well, there's a few months difference." Roleen will understand the significance of that remark.


We read the poetry of Chaucer, Campion, Browning, Shakespere and Sydney. We couldn't recite it back to you, but we enjoyed it.

Update

Thanks to those of you who sent encouragement after my last post. Mom was a little better today. I spoke with her on the phone late this morning. Her voice was gravelly and her words a little slurred, but she held up her end of the conversation pretty well. Suzy said Mom ate spaghetti for breakfast and loved it. So, it would seem she's still enjoying our company!
We're grateful for all your prayers.

Sleepwalk

After a few days of conversations, Mom has begun sleeping again.
On Saturday, Mom slept the entire day after breakfast. Late in the evening Suzy held the phone to her ear while I spoke to her. Mom responded with "Hi!" and "I love you too!" Sunday, she slept the entire day. Her breathing became sporadically quick and deliberate. She did not respond to conversation.
After a quiet night, Monday was more of the same. Mom hadn't had food or medicine since Saturday morning. The Vital Care nurse, Colleen, visited in the afternoon. Her respirations were a bit high at 25 per minute; pulse 106; blood pressure 124/55; oxygenation low at 84. Colleen heard some fluid in her lungs. They decided not to put Mom through the discomfort of a blood draw. Dr. Karkosak told Suzy to increase her fentanil patch to compensate for her lack of morphine over the last few days.
In the late evening Monday, Olivia came to her bed and said, "Hi Grandma." Mom replied, "Hi honey." Mom had responded to some more light conversation when I spoke to Suzy around 10:30 p.m.
We're constantly asking ourselves how we can best help Mom. Suzy told me Sunday night that she knows there's a part of Mom that longs to be with the Lord, and there's another part that wants to stay. It's a contradiction with which the apostle Paul wrestled. We want her to stay as long as she wants, but as Suzy said to me last night, she knows God is excited about his unique Rose coming home to Him. We don't know what her last steps on earth will look like, but we know God does and we're looking for His guiding hand.

Looking Up

Mom is doing well. Her blood work came back today and although her magnesium is low, her hemoglobin is up to 10.5! Still below normal, but nearly three whole points higher than last month.

Maybe all that turkey and pumpkin pie paid off!

Last weekend was good. Mom slept for several hours after breakfast on Sunday, but from Thanksgiving until then she was awake most of the time. We watched Milo & Otis a total of eight times. Yes, eight. It's the one movie that holds her interest without disturbing her with tragedy or violence. Well, there is that scene where the field mouse gets caught by the screech owl...

Poor Corey and Haley started singing, "Gonna take a walk outside today..."

Speaking of adventures, late Saturday night Corey, Jaime and Evan helped their friend Eric with a film shoot in downtown Petoskey. It was cold and dark and they met several interested inebriates. Before they left for the shoot, Corey and Evan showed Grandma their costume attire, which she dutifully inspected.

A Vision of Beauty

On November 19, our family lost Chris Darrow to cancer. Chris was a highly intelligent animal loving chef and gamer, with a fiance and a little girl eight years old. He was 32. Thank you to all who prayed for Chris and his family. Please continue to pray as his family deals with their loss. We loved Chris and will miss him very much. We hate cancer.

Mom had a rocky weekend. When I arrived Friday night, she was animated and conversant. Saturday morning she greeted me with, "My, don't you look fresh today," which, although conversational, was quite far from reality. I left her for a few minutes and when I returned she was no longer talking. She ate her breakfast in silence, then fell asleep. Bill and Pattie stopped by in the afternoon, and she was unresponsive. We visited while Mom slept. Her silence continued for the rest of the day, until the evening when we changed her nightgown and bedding. She responded to questions a little, then fell asleep again.

Sunday morning I woke up to Mom talking to herself. I said, "Well, good morning!" To which she replied, "When did you get here?" The rest of the morning was full of conversation broken up with brief naps. For both of us.

In the late afternoon before Corey and I left for Grand Rapids, I read to Mom from Peace Like a River and the book of love poems. Mom's favorite love poem this week was by Ben Jonson, entitled A Vision of Beauty. She soaked it up completely. I asked if she wanted me to read it again, and she said, "Oh, I don't know if I can stand it!" I asked her if I should take that as a yes, and she affirmed. We read a couple more, and she became so overwhelmed by the romance that we decided to return to the story book. But after a little while, we put the story down and went back to the poetry.

(Mom with Suzy, November 23, 2008)

From the beginning of Mom's diagnosis we have had a sense of the preciousness of this time together. Losing Chris these past few days has underscored the importance of holding our loved ones close, living a life of gratitude, not taking our time together for granted.

Prayer Request

Our cousin Chris Darrow began his fight with cancer about the same time Mom did. He has been fighting smart and hard, making very tough choices along the way. He is at Moffit right now on a ventilator, still fighting. Please pray for Chris, Nic, daughter Raina, Uncle Matt and Aunt Jan. We love you guys and we're with you in prayer.

(2007 Darrow Family Reunion, Chris between Nic and Rose)

Winter Rose

On Sunday, Boyne City saw its first snow of the season.The Saturday night rain turned to snow sometime during the night, transforming the world outside our window into a white crystal fairy land. When Mom woke up, I said, "Look out the window - we have our first snow!" She was not impressed. Not in the least.

Mom has been much quieter in the last couple of weeks. She begins sentences but does not usually finish them unless they are very short. We continue to read Peace Like A River, a partial chapter at a time. She begins to interject comments during the story, but falls just short of her intent. "That reminds me..." "Do you think..." "I was just thinking that..." Her mind interacts with us, but her communication is hindered. We fill in the blanks together.

Two Fridays ago when I arrived in Boyne I walked in her room and said "Hi Mom!", to which she gleefully replied, "You killed me!"

Mom's hemoglobin has improved - in the 9s after a few weeks in the 7s. Her blood pressure has been good. She has recovered from her UTI. Her heart rate is slightly erratic, but generally in a good range. Her breathing has changed; a bit heavier and with long pauses. This week we have increased her prednisone and morphine sulfate, and she seems more engaged and alert.

Here are a few pictures from recent weeks.

Tina and Mom on Saturday, November 1.

Grandma's groupies: Devon, Makayla, Babbette and Olivia.
Did you know how amazing pineapple is? Pineapple is the king of fruits. You should have some pineapple. Right now. Salute the pineapple!
Full of pineapple, fighting off the chill with layers of covers and the fireplace video.

Thanks for visiting. Stay warm. Have some pineapple.

A Glance Over the Shoulder

Last week I received a letter from Mom's friend, Marlene Coglianese. In the envelope was a picture from Mom's 50-year class reunion in 2003. I remember the time surrounding the reunion. Mom almost didn't go. She valued her time off from work, and the drive was over an hour one way. But she went, and I remember how pleased she was that she did. She had a wonderful time reconnecting with friends.

I took the picture to Mom last weekend. When I showed it to her, I asked if she knew the names of the friends at her side. She pointed to the one on the left and said, "That's Marlene." I asked her about the one to her right, and she hesitated. I squinted to see the name tag and said, "That's Shirley." To which she replied, "Shirley Becker."

At a time when much has been lost in the cognition realm, Mom's recognition of her high school friends was a source of joy. Thank you, Marlene, for sending the lovely picture of our mother with her friends.

I thought you might enjoy seeing a few more pictures from years past. Mom is still everything she always was in spirit and soul. It amazes me every day how the Rose Mary of yesterday shines through her current limitations.

This picture was taken during the Darrow Family Reunion in 1994, I believe on Union Street in Traverse during the Cherry Festival Grand Royale Parade. Left to right: Paul, Mom, Corey, Dad, Jaime, Suzy.

Another 1994 Darrow Reunion photo. Step back Rachael Ray. Rosie has a spatula and she knows how to use it.
This picture is somewhat of a mystery to us. Dad won several trips during his tenure at Sentry Insurance - Jamaica, Spain, and Venezuela. We didn't know this photo existed until Dad passed away. It was in a folder in his desk. Even Mom didn't know when it was taken. But it's maybe the best picture the two of them ever had taken together.

Mom mimicking Lady Liberty in Las Vegas at the 2003 Darrow Family Reunion.

Mom's 71st birthday party at Suzy's house, 2006.

The Rose Mary in these pictures is still with us. She is Rosie in her humor, her sensitivity, and her uncanny ability to find the most provocative word for the moment. In spite of the difficulty of the past nearly two years, she is undeniably herself. There's only one Rosie.

Hallucinogenic Ravioli

Suzy said to me on my way back to Grand Rapids on Monday, "You've gotta hand it to Mom. She's tough." She has just recovered from her second UTI since her last hospital visit in May. Her hemoglobin has been 7.7 for the last two weeks. Her lungs sound clear, her pulse is 70, her oxygen is 97, and temp her normal 97.something. Our mom is a strong little fighter.

We began reading Leif Enger's Peace Like A River a couple weeks ago. We're currently on chapter four. The nine-year-old girl in the story is a fan of westerns who writes a poem about a showdown between Sundown and Valdez. Mom likes the poems. We're also reading a collection of love poems I had on my shelf. So far, her favorite is So Well I Love Thee by Michael Drayton. When I read it to her for the first time a couple weeks ago, we pause at the end of this stanza:

The corn, that in the ground is sown, first dies,
And of one seed do many ears arise;
Love, this world's corn, by dying multiplies.

Mom pointed and said to me, "That is so scriptural."


The number of profound and lucid moments are declining. Mom's personality is still all there, but her grip on reality is slowly slipping. The constant is her love for us and ours for her.

Mom has allowed the little ones to help care for her. For a long time she was resistant and would scold Olivia and Cameron for offering to help her with eating or holding one of her stuffed animals. But she is more comfortable with it now, and the kids can now forge their own special place in Grandma's life. Olivia lays her head on Grandma's chest every night before bedtime and Grandma kisses her head.

A few days ago Mom was eating ravioli for lunch and thought she saw people outside the door. I told her there was no one really there. Evan asked her if she wanted more ravioli. Mom replied, "No, it makes me see things."

More Rosisms over the last couple of weeks:

(Placed Olivia's lime green stuffed poodle on Mom's lap)
Mom: Oh. I forgot to name it.
Pat: What do you think would be a good name?
Mom (after long pause): Jewel...
Pat: Jewel?
Mom: Why, I was just thinking that!
Pat: Yes, you just said it out loud, and I repeated it.
Mom: You're a genious!

Mom: I have an idea...sweet pickles!
Pat: Sweet pickles for everyone!
Mom: For everyone...on me!

(During bath)
Pat: Does that feel better?
Mom: Yes, except for that man on the wall over there.
Pat: Oh, there's not really a man over there. The morphine is playing tricks with your eyes. It's just you and me.
Mom: And Satan.

I made potato soup for the family on Saturday, and Mom was so excited about it that she sang.
"Oooh, oooh, aay....
Oh...my...soup!"
I told Mom no one had ever sung for my soup before.

Last weekend I brought Mom one of those videos of a fire place so she could have something warm and soothing to watch as an alternative to the game show network and Animal Planet. She loved it. A couple times she was confused by it, but never scared.

(Calmly) "The neighbor's house is on fire."

"Don't fall in the fire. I'll have to do a mullikabump."

Mullikabump is one of several new words Mom has fashioned lately. Among the others:
Covortz
Retro-Rinse (Evan's definition: where the spin cycle of yesterday meets the technology of today)
Tom box
Davenportase

Mom brings a lot of joy to the Wise's house. Paul was in the hospital for four days last week, and Mom was so happy to see him come home. Most visits to Mom's room result in a resounding welcome and bright smile. I've never felt so welcome anywhere as I do when I walk in her door on Thursday nights. Sometimes she forgets I'm Patty, but she never forgets she loves me. That's everything.

Stop your applause. Really. I mean it!

As of Thursday, Mom's labs were typical. Her hemoglobin is 8.4 - low, but with the range she has maintained. Her magnesium was low so she is receiving supplements, but Suzy will try to get the magnesium added to her fluids to eliminate the need for another pill. She can still reach her face with her hands. In fact, I gave her carmel corn to eat with her fingers, and she was able to feed herself for the first time in months. Evan made her a grilled cheese sandwich yesterday cut in four pieces, and she ate it all with her own hands. She is very proud, and so are we!

Last weekend Mom was still very talkative. She is very observant of people who are with her and those who are not really there. She has tried to get out of bed many times, which is good exercise for her but not possible. She is constantly working on an imaginary something, like sewing, making supper for the family, eating a snack, working a puzzle. Sometimes these activities are frustrating to her, but most of the time she is content to be working.

On Tuesday night Mom became very frustrated and angry at Cameron for not doing something she thought he was supposed to do. Her anger deepened, even though she was gently told he hadn't done anything wrong. When she heard clapping on the television, she said, "He (Cameron) is conjuring this clapping to our demise." Although it was articulately funny, it was time for Cameron and Olivia to leave Grandma for a while. Olivia went back later to give her a good night hug and kiss, then again. The second visit, Grandma hugged and kissed back.

Mom has frequently forgotten that she is home. She often speaks as if she's at our house in Traverse City waiting for Dad to come home, or at her childhood home on eleventh street waiting for her brother Jack to play with her. It must be so difficult for her to constantly return from her memories to her bed at Suzy's. She has been almost always sweet and compliant during this illness. She's entitled to some expression of frustration and anger, in whatever form it finds its way out of her. We can certainly make room for it. Suzy will monitor her pain levels in case some of her frustration is related to physical pain.

I spoke with Mom last night before going to bed. She was her usually happy self, and our conversation was normal.

"Hi Mom!"


"Hi Patty! How's every little thing?"


"Fine. I miss you."


"I miss you too, Patty."


"I'm coming to see you on Friday, and I'm going to stay with you for three whole nights."


"Oh, that will be wonderful!"


"Good night Mom. I'll see you in my dreams."


"I'll see you in my dreams too. I love you Patty."


"I love you too, Mom."

Pictures from Sunday are below. I see now that they are posted that I really need to recharge my camera batteries. Sorry for the poor quality.

Lately

There have been changes in Mom over the last couple of weeks. She has quiet times, then chatty times. Moody times and stoic times. She's developed some new aches and pains. We've increased her medicine. Through all of it, she still has a kind word and a smile every morning.

The drugs that are keeping her comfortable are fentanyl and morphine. The fentanyl is administered through a small patch we place on her shoulder. It administers 72 hours of effective pain relief, then we change the patch. The morphine is in suspension and she gets a small dose every three hours throughout the day.

For her brain, we give her dexamethasone. This reduces swelling caused from the brain tumor. We're monitoring its effectiveness closely, since it is a steroid medication and can make her more suseptible to infection.

Corey and I are just about ready to head out the door for Boyne City. I'm posting a few pictures from the last couple of weeks, and I'll try to write more over the weekend.


Mom dreaming sweet dreams of puppies and chocolate.
Tina and Mom.
Tina and Suzy at the door of Mom's room.
Kisses for Tina.
Cameron and Devon.
Devon blows bye-bye kisses to Grandma Rose.



Bill, Pattie, Jessy & Tyler with Mom last weekend.


Tyler and Grandma Rose saying bye!

Babbette keeping Mom's lap warm, or Mom keeping Babbette warm...it's a mutual thing.

Nondescript

The last few days have brought more interesting conversation and memorable Rose-isms. Mom hasn't been this animated and happy in months.

During TV commercial-

Mom: I told her to call me Caroline (long "i" sound)

Evan: Why?

Mom: Because it's a nondescript name.

Another TV Commercial: Instead of eight Tylenol you can take two Aleve (paraphrased).

Mom: I took two Aleve.

Evan: Why?Mom: Because they, too, are nondescript.

Mom's potassium is a little low, so she gets a little more in her sodium chloride now. She's getting more pain killers, which are helping immensely with her movement. She has gradually done more and more with her arms, and Sunday she touched her face for the first time in many weeks. She no longer has to rely on us to scratch her nose for her.

Mom and I finished The Shack on Friday night. I asked her if she enjoyed the story, and she said she enjoyed it immensely. Next, we plan to read Strong Poison by Dorothy Sayers - a gripping mystery with a dashing leading man and an undeserving heroine. I have strong feelings on the subject.

Sunday evening Jaime read to Mom from The Oxford Book of English Verse. She was unimpressed with half of them, and one of those she liked was a sonnet by Sir Philip Sidney entitled Desire. She liked it so well she wanted to hear it read again, so we called in Evan. He recited it with a loud faux-Brit accent. We all laughed until we cried, and Mom laughed so hard that she covered her face with her newly available hands.

Good Company

Sunday morning was quiet at 10:30 when Suzy's family had all made it out the door to church. I read to Mom from chapter 17 of The Shack, and we talked afterward about God's faithfulness and poetry. I told her I hadn't prayed for her yet, and asked if she would like for us to pray together. Of course, the answer was yes. I offered to let her begin, and she replied, "No, you start. You're the starter."

So I prayed for a while, and then asked Mom if she would like to.

"Are you finished?"

"Yes, you go ahead Mom."

"Dear heavenly father, in the name of Jesus...we are so grateful for...you understand our failings, even though..."

I couldn't understand the rest of what she prayed. Her words were soft and indistinguishable but sincere. I opened my eyes and watched as her lips spoke to Jesus and looked for him under her closed eyelids. She prayed until she fell asleep.


Below are some pictures from Saturday.

Tina and Mom. Again, I had asked Mom to smile, and she gave me a wink.
Devon giving Grandma Rose some good by love.
Evan explaining the mysteries of fossilized rock to Devon. Charlevoix county has lots and lots of interesting rocks.
Evan showing Grandma her latest glamour shot. Again, Mom improvises with the request for a smile by throwing air kisses at the camera, here with Bill and Pattie.Suzy told me yesterday that Mom has been more alert and lucid each day this week. As always, thanks for your prayers.

Changes

When I left for Grand Rapids last Monday Mom had slept most of the day. Suzy told me Tuesday evening that Mom was still very tired and that there were changes in her demeanor and appearance.

Mom can be snappy, but she's always been just one word away from kindness. Last week, Mom was irritated and not very nice to Suzy. This is very unusual behavior for her. (Suzy might jokingly tell you it's status quo.) Her speech became quiet and a bit nasal. She had a difficult time finishing sentences and sometimes repeated the same word over and over. Most of what she said did not make sense, although it seemed she knew what she was trying to say. Much like she was a few weeks ago, but moreso.

When Corey and I arrived late Thursday night, I could see the change in Mom's face. Everything in her face seemed to have fallen a little, and seeing us after three days did not bring the usual smile to her face. She was interacting with the TV characters she was watching, occasionally acknowledging that we were there. The abrupt change was disconcerting. However, at bedtime she kept tradition with a sincere "I love you Patty" and kisses.

Dr. Karkosak thought it was one of two things: the effects of morphine or swelling of the brain from a tumor. We pretty much ruled out the morphine because she had been on the same dose for several days and this change was quick. Dr. Karkosak prescribed prednisone to bring down swelling if it existed. So we stopped the liquid ibuprofen and started prednisone on Thursday.

Friday, Mom slept until 2:40 p.m. When she awoke, she greeted me with a smile, told me she was feeling pretty good, and said scrambled eggs sounded wonderful. By the time Suzy and Corey returned from their trip to Petoskey in the late afternoon she was much more herself. Not to the extent that she was last weekend, but much different from Thursday. Everything that had fallen in her face was back in its sunny place.

Bill, Pattie, Tina and Devon came on Saturday and it was a good visit, replete with conversation and laughter. Tina brought a DVD from Mom's cousin, Eileen Milner, of Eileen's trip to the Czech Republic this year. Eileen and her daughters found the house in Andrejov where Mom's great-great-grandfather lived when he left for America. We watched it together.

This morning Mom woke up early. She is patiently waiting for me to post this update and return to the room with her breakfast. Suzy is making oven baked french toast for breakfast at the church, and Olivia is dutifully and desparately trying to wake her siblings to get ready. So, it's pretty much business as usual. What a blessing.

Mom's last labs came back good - a small rise in her hemoglobin, a small decrease in her white blood cells, no infection. She will continue with prednisone in gradually decreasing doses for a few more days, the Dr. Karkosak will reassess. I'll keep you posted.

The Best Medicine

Last week Mom's labs came back positive for a UTI. The first one in two months. This time instead of pills Mom is getting her cipro through her port. We just take her off the sodium chloride for the hour it takes the cipro to drip in, then hook it back up. Suzy's got it down. However, I messed up on the IV computer while changing bags. It didn't affect Mom at all, it just threw off the cc counter on the computer which helps us keep track of what she's received. I guess there's a good reason I'm not in the health care field.

Anyway, the cipro is doing its job, and so far we have not had to administer flagyl to prevent c. diff. infection. She has been getting yogurt every day with a special additive to encourage growth of good bacteria. Since it's been so long since her last UTI, Dr. Karkosak recommended witholding the flagyl until we knew we needed it. So far, so good - no flagyl.

Mom's appetite has improved. She is receiving her morphine through a 72 hour patch and receives liquid motrin four times a day. She is still taking her Toprol for blood pressure, and occasionally gets half an ambien to help her sleep at night. That's it. Such a change from a few short months ago when we were grinding 10-12 pills twice a day to mix into her yogurt. So much easier for her.

When the television is on, she sometimes has trouble distinguishing between people in the room and people on the program. She has thought at times that she was on TV herself. Last weekend, she was fascinated by several of the commercials. Her favorites were:

• Hillshire Farms - Go Meat! (Patty - those guys are back!)
• Silence Your Rooster (Isn't it cute!)
• Smirnoff (Did you see that?)

The conversation has been lively - sometimes zaney, sometimes profound. We never know what she'll say next. Predictability is out the window. Laughter reigns. Mixed with her snappy sense of humor, her responses are sometimes enough to knock us off our feet. I know I could never really do our exchanges the justice they deserve in the telling, but I'll try sharing a few.

(Motioning to the flag waving in the breeze across her door)
I just hate that thing.

(Mom to Evan)
I keep telling myself I need to get a fly swatter.
We have a fly swatter.
Where is it?
It's right over there.
Well, the flies are down here.
(Pat to Mom, when a small crash sounds from Evan's direction while retrieving the swatter)
I hope he's okay.
(Mom laughs) Oh, he bounces.

(Mom to Evan)
The less you talk, the less tedious you are to me.

(Watching God TV Sunday morning, Mom to Pat)
Oh, there's a guy in the window.
He's a preacher.
I don't care WHO he is!

(Trying to swat a fly on her arm)
Oh...I almost said damn it.

(Mom to Pat, smiling)
I just pulled a pistol on your friend.
You just pulled a pistol on my friend?
Uh huh. (nodding, smiling)
Which friend?
(Pointing to the flag waving across the doorway) That one.

We finished chapter 15 of The Shack on Sunday. The chapter was about heaven, reconciliation, redemption, communion with Jesus - it was beautiful. She wanted me to read it again, so we re-read the end of the chapter on Monday.

Sunday was the Kratochvil family reunion in Traverse City. Most of her cousins were there. Mom has not been out of bed since June; attempting a trip an hour and a half away and sitting up for hours would have been too much for her. I didn't tell her Sunday that she was missing the reunion, but I talked to her about each of her cousins so she had them all in mind. Aunt Dorothy told me later that the family had a moment of silence to remember Mom in their prayers since she couldn't be with them. So, they were together from a distance.

Our I love yous are still heartfelt and plentiful with lots and lots of kisses.

Following are a few pictures from the last two weekends.

Tami, Devon and Mom.

Tina, Makayla and Mom.
Tami and Mom.
What? Not another pair of sunglasses?!Mom laughing on Sunday. Mike, Mom and Tina.
Thanks as always for your continued prayers. They're priceless to us.