You Are There

Mom's funeral brought family and friends together from Boyne City, Traverse City, Elk Rapids, South Boardman, Alma, Grand Rapids, and Englewood, Florida. Her casket was surrounded with flowers in pinks and purples, and an urn containing Dad's remains stood near her head. Paul delivered a beautiful eulogy. Although Mom didn't want tears at her funeral, I know she would have approved.

The day of Mom's and Dad's interment couldn't have been colder or windier. We huddled together for warmth as Paul shared scriptures of hope with us. He stated that Mom and Dad both wanted to live as long as possible, and that our family did our best to assure their wishes were granted. It was a welcome affirmation.

Mom's great hope was that Jesus' return would occur in her lifetime and that she would never see death. There were times during her illness we thought her tenacity might pay off and she'd get her wish. Even though the vehicle wasn't the one she hoped for, we know she is now with the One she so longed to see with her eyes and hear with her ears.

Psalm 139:7-12

Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me," even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.

Good night, Mom. We'll see you in our dreams.

Goodbye Rose

Remembering Rosie

Mom's cousin Roleen Rennie Carpenter sent this memoire of her childhood to our family. It shows Mom's character and personality so unchanged from the time she was little. I think it will be appreciated by those of us who have loved Mom in her adult years. Thanks for sharing your heart with us, Roleen.

January 8, 2009

Dear Pat, Suzie, Bill and Tina,
Thank you so very much for all the e-mails with pictures for the past two years. This morning we saw Rose Mary's obituary in the Record Eagle. How nicely written it was. You did yourselves proud.
I have thought sometimes about the name Rose Mary, and just how Aunt Naomi and Uncle Cap came to name her that. She was truly a Rose, and had the faith of Mary. For a long time I thought it was all one name – Rosemary, But Rosie corrected me.
Rosie and I had the unique advantage of being the little mice in the kitchen at the family gatherings, and could overhear Grandma Sarah/Sadie Kratochvil and her daughters, Isobel, Naomi, Inez and Frances. They truly enjoyed these times together discussing their dreams (literally) and what heaven would be like. Their faith in God and his Heaven was a given . . . no doubt about it.
Growing up, we were sort of paired off at the frequent family potlucks. We were nearly the same age – well, I was six months older; a fact that Rosie reminded me of. When we were little, we would usually get tired at the end of the day, whereupon I would seek comfort in sucking my thumb and she her three fingers – each grasping our dresses with our free hand in a wad. When I reminded Rosie of those times, she adamantly told me that she had never done that; it must have just been me. She would never have hiked up her dress like that, she said.
Rosie liked to come to the farm where I lived. She loved seeing all the animals, and always wanted to run down hill. She did not have hills to run down in Traverse City. And so, we would run down the hills and walk back up again over and over again, until we were really tired. I, in turn, thought it was fun to walk around the block at her home on 11th Street, and observe how everybody had their sprinklers going.
Rosie was unique. She let you know just where she stood and how she saw things. Not really critical of what you thought, but definite in her views.
When were teenagers, Rosie and I had a lot of discussions about religion. Sometimes I would make some hair-brained comment, and she would tell me “what the Bible said.” From those early times in her life, she possessed a strong faith. Rosie and I worked at the same place in Traverse City in the mid 1950's. The firm was called Peoples Finance, and was located at 102 S. Union Street in Traverse City. On Good Friday the office closed from 1 to 3PM so that employees could attend church services. Rosie and I walked the several blocks to St. Francis church. It was a chilly day, (March, I think) but we were excited to go. Rosie explained that they were going through the Stations of the Cross. It seemed like we were there a long time. I noticed how people were arriving at different times and then leaving. Maybe those people coming and going were not as dedicated as we were. We stayed for the whole service. We then rushed back to work to find our Manager running the place. He said, “where have you girls been?” We proudly announced, “at church!! He then informed us that we were not required to stay for the whole thing. He had attended a Catholic service also, and had been back in the office a long time ago.
Around that time, I met my now husband, Marv. Rosie was my Maid of Honor at my wedding.
These are just a few of the memories I have. I thought you might like to hear them.
This is indeed a very difficult “goodbye for now.” The “for now” part is really the part that is significant, isn't it? You children of Rosie have been so fortunate to have this instilled into your very souls. She has accomplished what so many of hope to.
Sure, we will all cry. But we know it is just “for now.”
Take care you children of Rosie, and your spouses too. God Bless
Love,
Cousin Roleen

Obituary Links

Mom's obituary may be found in three places:

Petoskey News Review
Traverse City Record Eagle
Stone Funeral Home, Inc.

The funeral home has not yet posted the obituary, but Mom's name should appear in a link on the right of the front page when it is up.

The Record Eagle states that Mom's interment is on Monday, January 12. We just learned this morning that a Monday interment is not possible for the cemetery, and that it will take place on Tuesday, January 13 at 1:00 p.m.

Home

This morning at 2:24 a.m., Suzy was with Mom when she took a deep hard breath. Suzy went to the bed and asked Mom if she was okay. There were no more breaths. Mom left us quietly and peacefully.

When I arrived at Suzy's this morning she told Cameron to tell me what he said when he woke up and Grandma was gone. Cameron told me that our spirits live forever and can never be harmed. Even if a bullet went through our spirit, it wouldn't hurt it. What a smart kid.


Thank you to everyone for your prayers and support over the last two years. It has been the blessing of our lives to love our mother through her illness. We've always known she was stubborn, but through these past months she has shown herself stronger than anyone I've ever known. I'm so proud to be her daughter.

Stackus Funeral Home in Boyne City is handling Mom's arrangements. On Friday there will be visitation from 5:00 p.m. - 8:00 p.m. at the funeral home. Another visitation at 10:00 a.m. on Saturday at Trinity Fellowship Church will immediately precede the funeral at 11:00 a.m. The obituary will appear on the funeral home website and the Traverse City paper tomorrow. I will update you with links when they are available.

Comfort

Mom has now been nine days without food or dexamethasone. We have tried to administer her morphine sulphate 1/4 mg at a time, but it goes down with great difficulty because her swallow reflex is not complying. She continues to receive 25 cc's per hour of sodium chloride, and the 125 mcg of fentanil administered through patches on her shoulder. Her breathing is labored. Her pulse was 148 last night and has been consistently over 120 for five days. We are treating her bedsores the best we can, weighing the need for treatment against the discomfort she experiences when we move her.

It should come as no surprise to us that at this time, when her resources are at the absolute minimum imaginable, that she still breathes and still responds to kisses on her cheek. We cherish her presence but her comfort and peace are our greatest concern. Please pray with us for Mom's comfort.

Running on Love

On New Years Day Tina, Tami and Dan and the little ones, Bill and Pattie, and Aunt Dorothy came to spend the day. Mom had a relatively peaceful day with minimal coughing. The entire family plans to come back this afternoon to celebrate our family Christmas.

Since Thursday afternoon Mom has been coughing a lot and her fluid output has remained very low. On Wednesday we cut back her sodium chloride by half in an attempt to decrease the fluid in her lungs and help her to breathe. Dr. Karkosak increased her fentanil to 125 mcg to help manage the pain. Mom has been unable to speak or eat since Sunday. She is running on love like a car runs on fumes.

Mostly, Mom sleeps and works to breathe, and we help her as much as we can. Mom looked at Olivia with acknowledgement in her eyes when she kissed her last night before bed. She has responded a little to hugs and kisses, to loud noises, to scripture and to prayer. Suzy sang Mares Eat Oats to her yesterday and she focused on her intently. I think she wanted to sing too.

A New Year

Last night Mom and I held hands as the ball dropped, with Olivia and Cameron wishing her enthusiastic Happy New Years.

Mom has been sleeping almost constantly since Sunday. On Tuesday night her breathing was very labored and she was unresponsive. Suzy's attempts to administer her supplemental morphine have been unsuccessful, only causing Mom to cough. She hasn't eaten or swallowed medication since Saturday afternoon. Dr. Karkosak is out of town but gave Suzy his cell number in case she needs to call. We love Dr. Karkosak.

Tina and Mike came from Traverse yesterday. Mom opened her eyes a couple of times during the visit and responded to caresses by closing them.

Before turning in she opened her eyes more than she had during the day. When I told her I loved her she moved her lips a little but didn't speak. I opened up Psalm 139 and read to her, and as I read she turned her head toward me. So after 139 we read 42 and several others, until I was sure she was asleep.

She passed the night well and as I write this I can hear her occasionally cough and snore. Her breathing is much better than it was Tuesday night and she seems relaxed.

This morning Bill and Pattie plan to come up, and Tina and Tami will follow, maybe with Aunt Dorothy.